I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
