I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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