Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
