You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
