He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize