is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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