No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
