What a fucking waste of an outfit
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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