just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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