You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize