Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
