walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
