Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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