Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
