I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
