Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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