dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
