My first STD was from a foam party
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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