dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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