just tell him i said nine months
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize