just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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