Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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