you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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