I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
