Small penises have feelings too.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
