I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
