Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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