Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize