i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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