ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
