Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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