I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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