I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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