DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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