Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
