I think i sorta joined a cult last night
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
