Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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