youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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