I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize