They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
