She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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