Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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