More tranny stories later!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Randomize