It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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