I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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