I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
