how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
