no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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