24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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