Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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