dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I could fuck to npr.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
