If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You need Xanax blowdarts
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
