I bet he comes in French.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I could fuck to npr.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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