that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
