3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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