someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
