I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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