The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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